Friday, February 3, 2012

Failing my special gifts

I've had an awful day. Apparently, according to my friends' status updates on Facebook and some other blogger posts, I'm not the only one.

I'm not sure exactly what it is (well, I sort of do) but everything was driving me up the wall. I was irritable. I was angry. I felt like crap. Whatever happened during the day just made it worse.

I was yelling at my kids. There were repeated time-outs. Toys were taken away (and still not returned). Spankings happened. Tantrums and meltdowns occurred.

And I was frustrated.

I could NOT WAIT until bedtime.

Since I wasn't feeling well, I wasn't as motivated to stay on top of housework AND deal with the kids. Ryan was at school or locked in the closet/office doing homework all day. I had to drive to Edgewood with Will for hippotherapy. Thankfully, Lana stayed home and napped while Ryan did homework.

I made a later dinner for the kids. Even in preparing macaroni and cheese I thought I would pull my hair out.

Then I put on the Contemporary Christian station on Pandora... and you know what came on? "Do Everything" by Steven Curtis Chapman. I could have reached right in the TV and slapped that man.

Thankfully, the kids ate decently so I didn't completely lose my mind. Then bedtime... and Ryan came home.

I dearly love my kids and it is so beautiful to look in on them once they're asleep and touch their little heads and whisper prayers and blessings over them. They are so peaceful. They are my special gifts.

In all the ways I fail, I hope that they know how much I love them... even if today I don't think I showed it very well.


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1 comment:

  1. We all have days like that. I love how you still see your children as blessings through all the tough days and temper tantrums and all the stuff that goes on with having little ones. You are a great Mom and you are doing a fantastic job! (I'm sorry I'm just now reading this . ..)

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