Sunday, November 7, 2010

The balance of vulnerability and overly dramatic

Where do you draw the line?

I have been thinking this for awhile now.

Maybe some of you military wives will know what I'm talking about.

Now, I know when I post my blogs it is mostly highlights and good stuff. My life is not all happy, roses, and travels... so don't get the wrong idea. Sometimes life downright stinks! But I don't blog about it because, in reality, this is not the place for it.

It's personal.

But what do you do?

I know that when I move someplace it takes me awhile to build up decent relationships with people. And even then they aren't the strongest thing on earth so a lot of times I don't share stuggles going on in my personal life.

Some of that is because it can be hard to know who to trust.

Also... I don't want to be pegged as that girl with all the drama. You know who I'm talking about. We all know them. They are the ones who you barely say "hello" to and then they're off lamenting about some crappy situation in their life. To be frank, yes, sometimes things pile up and a woman will just let it all out, but when it is the same lady, all the time, with a different problem you just start keeping your distance. You don't want to be sucked in!

I refuse to be that woman!

But in the process of not letting people in on your troubles you can then be pegged as the woman who either "has it all" or "is too good for anybody".

I don't want to be stuck up, but I don't always feel it is appropriate to share personal things with people who you are not close to.

Yes, I have issues. Yes, I wish I had somebody to really talk to about them. But in the mean time I won't share my issues because sometimes I just don't want my problems to be other people's problems.

Does that make sense?

So where do you draw the line? How do you be open enough to show you are vulnerable without being dramatic?

I'd like some advice.


  1. oohh, good question! I feel the same way. I've been thinking that my blog is all sunshine and roses. While I love my life there have been some difficulties. I have a hard time spilling that into blog land where any & every one can read it. I know that I have friends (mostly from my pre-military days) that I can call and share with. They are there for me to cry, vent, whatever and they listen. I know they will pray for me, support me and still love me! As for people where I'm at...I don't have those people here yet. There are a few in the works:) And while I may share things that seem personal, they really aren't. For me to really open up I have to be comfortable and trust the other person. So maybe to answer your question to share some things that are a little personal? I don't think you have to spill all to start to open up. Maybe just a little at a time.

    Er, that's long...sorry! Hope it helps though:)

  2. I think if it feels wrong to YOU, then you shouldn't do it. I don't like the drama mamas either and there are a lot of them in the military, but I think if YOU are comfortable with what you share then just go with it. Who cares about the labels? Maybe you don't have lots of drama and that is GOOD, that is to be celebrated!! Just be real and who you are! Your blog ROCKS by the way!

  3. I blog about the good and the bad. I use mine as a place to express myself, sometimes I'm having a crappy day and I write on my blog to get it out, other times I'm having a good day and I share that. It just depends on what you want personally... for me it's a space to get things out, for you it might be something different.