Sunday, September 19, 2010

Dealing with the diagnosis

Since being home I've had more time to talk over and think about Will's diagnosis with Apraxia.

To be completely honest, I'm still very upset.

Today we talked with our pastor and let him know. He told us that next Sunday we should bring him forward for prayer, and additionally, fill out the prayer card so they can put him on the church prayer list.

We've started Will on some Omega-3 supplement which is highly suggested to help with certain brain development and has been found to help with brain connections. It is something many parents of kids with apraxia have found to be helpful.

I've been looking up preschool gymnastic programs in Albuquerque to enroll him into. There are a few I'm interested in but I want to physically check them out before picking one for sure. Perhaps the physical, coordinated activity will help with his motor skills and in turn help bridge the connections needed to create speech.

Ryan and I have discussed our options on what to do. Of course we'll continue with his speech therapy, get his occupational therapist, try to get into the horse therapy, and probably try to get him into special classes. We meet with his speech language pathologist Wednesday so I hope we can get more of an idea on what our New Mexico options are.

I just feel horrible for my little boy. It doesn't seem fair! He is so smart, and clever, and funny, and happy... I wish he could actually talk to me.

We still treat him just the same, but there are times I just want to cry over him. He doesn't understand... and he shouldn't.

I understand parents have had to deal with much worse than we have when it comes to their kids. But this is MY son. I want him to grow up to be normal and have the same opportunites as everybody else. Having verbal communication problems can drastically impact his life, so I pray and hope that he can overcome this disability (because it is a disability, not a disorder) and find his place in the world.

I would love for him to talk. That is a huge desire my heart aches for. But if he can't, we can deal with it and find alternate ways for him to communicate. If we have to sign, we'll learn and that's what we'll do. If he must use technology, so be it. I don't care what it is, I want him to have a way to communicate.

.... but, I really want him to speak.

We try to stay encouraged that he has made vast progress in the past few months. Knowing that he might learn to speak by Kindergarten or at least school age is a goal we hope to achieve.

Anyway, now I feel like having a minor cry before heading to bed, so I might just go do that.

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